Fate. Destiny. Luck. We’ve all experienced the thrill of dice roll that nets us win. Situation where everything goes wrong. Situation where everything goes right. Like hall of fame basketball players that spend their whole careers chasing championships, only to end up with none. Like terrible players who win multiple championships by simply being on the right team.
Sure – we all dream about being lucky. Not doing anything while getting everything. It’s human. But when you scratch the surface, is that really what you want to be? Zero on someone else’s achievement? Lucky tag-along? Slave to circumstances?
If you do, then be aware that you are giving away control. The more time you spend allowing to be driven by outside forces, the less time you have to learn to drive yourself. You can’t have it both ways – the more you submit to circumstances the more they will influence end result and your emotions.
So, why don’t you take the reigns? Why don’t you stop waiting on inspiration and motivation – and take charge with discipline? Learn to love things that you need to do, and fulfill the need to find things you love. Welcome happy surprises but expect and rejoice only in hard work. Hope for the lucky break but do not depend on it.
Only you truly know yourself and what is it that you need. So, take control and vow not to wait on anyone or anything. You don’t need circumstances, people or planets to align. All you need is already within you. Use it.
Self discipline is when your conscience tells you to do something and you don’t talk back -W.K Hope
Impulsiveness is good, when practiced in moderation. You need to give randomness a chance to drive you toward unexpected and unplanned pleasures. Sometimes impulsiveness will reward you, sometimes it will not – as with any gamble you never know. And that’s the exactly the thrill of it. The moment you try to seize control and create a winning streak, you are no longer enjoying… you are laboring.
Most importantly – know where impulsiveness begins and know where it ends. Because if you don’t, you’ll fall into same trap so many of us fall – giving impulsiveness free reign.
You need set boundaries to encompass what you represent. You must know the foundation of your character and what you stand for. You can’t make up rules and assign arbitrary meaning as you go or as it aligns with whatever you decided in certain moment. Life of abrupt changes can’t be led if you want to build. Anything non-trivial requires foundation so it can stand and function.
So define your foundation – what you consistently do for betterment of yourself and those around you. Split your day into part dictated by planning and part dictated by impulsiveness; and above all, stick with it. By all means, let there be expiry date after which you will reflect on your foundation and whether it is guiding your forward the way you expected. But in the meantime – do not improvise. Do not rationalize. Do not think.
Simply – do. Do what you are supposed to without doubts and questions. Lean on your foundation and follow your plan. You made them both for a reason.
So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now! -Viktor E. Frankl
Everyone experienced a moment of revelation. Here you are at certain point of time completely understanding what you need to do. You see your goal with clarity and with determination you start going. You are prepared to do whatever it takes and the obstacles you are removing from your path show that you are serious about it.
Then you wake up next day, and suddenly realize that the spark is gone. That you no longer feel like doing what seemed so right and easy only yesterday. You tell to yourself that it is a fleeting feeling and that you only need to take a little break – you’ll get back to doing what needs to be done in few hours.
Suddenly, hours become days. Days become weeks. Weeks become months – and before you know it, it’s another year of your life gone by. By now you are also well entrenched in habit of doing things “tomorrow”. Why bother? You know you will do it eventually. Might as well wait for that time when you feel right.
The only problem is – you will not feel right. How can you feel right when you are giving away control? It is your brain and your habits. They shouldn’t control you, you should be controlling them. And only when you take control, the way you do when your perspective is clear, you will feel right.
Motivation is easy when you know exactly where you should be going. So, cling to your perspective for sake of your own sanity and good of yourself. Because if you don’t – circumstances, habits and others will choose for you. They will take over and tell you what is it that you should be doing. Do not let that happen, because nobody knows your dreams as well as you do. Keep your perspective, always and forever.
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be -Lao Tzu
We are all in the constant search for meaning. It’s part of human spirit – the need to matter and contribute something meaningful. Some of us are aware of it, some are not. But all of us feel it – that nagging feeling of emptiness inside.
Sure, we can try to numb it – but eventually it’ll always resurface in one way or the other. Defeats are temporary. Whether you’ll allow them to hold you down for a day, month, year… or a decade – in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter. You’ll only negatively impact yourself and people around you. Someone else from the global pool of talent will do what you were supposed to. And he will reap the benefits.
Understand that hole in you is there to stay. With every backward step you take – it will grow. With every step forward – it will shrink. You are built that way. You need to be part of something greater to function. Struggle in itself is irrelevant – whether you are fulfilling your meaning is the only thing you should worry about. And this is something you cannot fake. You can lie to yourself that you don’t care. You can allow laziness to destroy your dreams. But you can’t fill the void in yourself without honest and meaningful effort.
Hole will always be your sole responsibility. Others can try to help. You can try to help others. But in the end, fulfillment is a solo mission. Be grateful for that – majority is often a hindrance, not help. It’s OK. They are not against you – they are just trying to do what’s best for them. Help them if you can. Leave them if you can’t. But don’t dwell, don’t yell and certainly don’t start conflicts. It serves no-one and destroys you.
Focus on the hole in your soul. And work on filling it the best you can.
All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett