There’s a hole in my soul, I can’t fill it

We are all in the constant search for meaning. It’s part of human spirit – the need to matter and contribute something meaningful. Some of us are aware of it, some are not. But all of us feel it – that nagging feeling of emptiness inside.

Sure, we can try to numb it – but eventually it’ll always resurface in one way or the other. Defeats are temporary. Whether you’ll allow them to hold you down for a day, month, year… or a decade – in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter. You’ll only negatively impact yourself and people around you. Someone else from the global pool of talent will do what you were supposed to. And he will reap the benefits.

Understand that hole in you is there to stay. With every backward step you take – it will grow. With every step forward – it will shrink. You are built that way. You need to be part of something greater to function. Struggle in itself is irrelevant – whether you are fulfilling your meaning is the only thing you should worry about. And this is something you cannot fake. You can lie to yourself that you don’t care. You can allow laziness to destroy your dreams. But you can’t fill the void in yourself without honest and meaningful effort.

Hole will always be your sole responsibility. Others can try to help. You can try to help others. But in the end, fulfillment is a solo mission. Be grateful for that – majority is often a hindrance, not help. It’s OK. They are not against you – they are just trying to do what’s best for them. Help them if you can. Leave them if you can’t. But don’t dwell, don’t yell and certainly don’t start conflicts. It serves no-one and destroys you.

Focus on the hole in your soul. And work on filling it the best you can.

All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett hole in the soul

All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett


20 thoughts on “There’s a hole in my soul, I can’t fill it

  1. I often find myself trying to help damaged people find meaning to their lives, this drains my energy sometimes especially if i don’t succeed. How can i help control my energy in such situations?

    • Understand that’s actually the only thing you can truly control – yourself. It’s great if you can positively influence other people… but in the end you can only do so if they allow it. Lots of people will tell you they want positive change, only to balk when you start putting effort toward making that change happen.

      Once, as an experiment in self improvement, I’ve spent two months trying to help people through direct messages on Reddit. Out like 100 people who asked for my help – you know how many responded back on my second message? Like 5 of them. Only 2 fulfilled promise to exchange messages over 4 weeks.

      If you can’t sustain it – try not to tie your personal meaning too much to other people. At least for start. Work on getting yourself ahead in other ways. And if you do “slip” and start helping someone… if it fails – practice not beating yourself about it. Switch focus back on your own self improvement.

      Good luck!

  2. Thought provoking post. I guess we are like Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) pursuing our mission in life; yet, even HE didn’t do it “solo,” he needed the help of a mentor (Obi-Wan Kenobi).

    • True. Majority of progress happens in groups. Simply, 99% of us don’t have enough skills to make it on our own. And figure out everything on our own. So, it makes sense to join a group and support group effort.

      Now, group dynamics do frustrate because you are giving away your independence / freedom. But we need to realize that freedom is irrelevant… alone in the desert – you are completely free. Yet you are ultimately trapped – and very unlikely to escape.

      Freedom is slavery… Orwel really played a good one with that sentance.

  3. And he said to them: “Whoever drinks the water I give will never be thirsty again.”
    I hope this maybe can help you; referring to that emptiness not as a hole but as thirst. Get close to God and he will give you to drink! I will never be thirsty again!

  4. “… fulfillment is a solo mission.” Ditto!
    I’ve tried to help others find their meaning, but it is ultimately up to THEM to commit and make something of my suggestions.
    Before, I felt bitter when people failed to make me happy and give me purpose. Now, I know that it is up to ME to make it work. Others might try to add or subtract from that, but it is I who control what helps me and what does not.

  5. Filling the hole requires quiet time, reflection, and discernment. These things are difficult to practice in our noisy, over-stimulating world. The hole in my own soul gets filled in a little bit more every year, but I believe it will never be completely filled in this lifetime. I am willing to continue the challenging, yet rewarding, journey, step by step, with hope and courage. Thanks for the encouraging post!

    • Well considering I’m anonymously writing all this I doubt that I’ll be able to make a direct jump to motivational speaker ;). So, I’ll stick with you people here that enjoy reading what I write.

  6. Thanks for a wise pragmatic post. Its good to be reminded that we’re neither unique nor alone and that awareness is essential ?

Comments are closed.