Sometimes it seems as if everyone around us is so blessed and happy. How is it that while we are struggling with our life others are enjoying theirs? What is the secret that separates those who are happy from those who are not?
The answer is simple – it’s the state of mind.
In today’s world everything is attainable. Look around and you’ll find people who go from poverty to being millionaires before they turn 30. Kids without parents that become stars in professional sports. People who lose 100s of pounds in a few months after spending most of their life being obese.
Scratch the surface and you’ll see that the most important thing these people did was: setting the right state of mind. They replaced depressive, negative, busy thoughts with ones that are supportive, positive and focused. They chose to hold themselves accountable. They chose performing over criticizing. They chose being happy over being unhappy.
You can do exactly the same thing. Understand that happiness is not a goal, happiness is a state. You can’t obtain happiness the way you obtain 4 year higher education diploma. Feelings inside you can’t be stored and owned like a piece of paper. They can however be retrieved and reignited over and over until certain feelings become identifying part of you. Relearn your brain to power positive thoughts instead of negative ones. Make happiness your identifying trait, a habit, and you will find yourself unable to be unhappy even in the darkest hours.
Ignite the flame of joy in you. Not tomorrow, the next year or the year after. Now! Seize the realization that your happiness belongs and is controlled by you. And that there is not a single reason to delay being in the happy state of mind.
Perfect . Happiness is you !
This is sooo important, great way of saying it, do you think part of the reason some people see everybody around them as happier has something to do with their impression of themselves sometimes?
Probably. It’s easy to project your feelings onto others. Plus – there is simplified perception of other’s peoples lives. We often think others have it way better than they truly do. Especially in the era of Facebook, when in someone’s feed you can only see highlights of his/hers day.
Is this something you have experienced? Or wrote about? Let me know – I’m curious to read your extended thoughts on the subject 😉
Not sure I have written specifically about this, although I have experienced this in my past I think it is a common affect of emotional anxiety.
Great words of wisdom about happiness, it is amazing how the power to happiness is indeed with each of us. Thanks for sharing.
Profound! It’s much easier said than done until you actually do try and that’s key. The state of mind is a powerful tool.
Judging by your great blog posts you are using that powerful tool every day ;). Keep it up!
Thank you 🙂 I appreciate your feedback very much
I like this a lot 🙂 Great work x
Peanutgallery247 said it. It’s much easier said than done…Who doesn’t want to be happy? And it is easy to fall into self-pity and the blues. But I hesitate to offer happiness too glibly. The bible says as a man thinks in his heart, so he is. The question is, what is the heart? The physical pump? No. The physical pump doesn’t think. But if we can discover how this thinking heart thinks, we can find out how to think happy. This isn’t a riddle, it’s a revelation, a truth revealed to the spirit.
I have recently come to similar conclusions. You have to choose your state of mind. I spent too long being a reactive person; I’m trying to act and think with more intention. Nice post!
I’ve saw your post “Choose Happiness”. It’s a great read, especially because you give concrete examples! To anyone curious enough to read more about choosing happiness, here is the link: https://jessicaannebreisnes.wordpress.com/2017/07/20/choose-happiness/
Thank you! I appreciate that SO much. Thanks for sharing my link. Hope you have a beautiful (and happy!) day.
I agree, that happiness is a state of mind, but isn’t often mistaken with joyce, delight etc.?
I centered on happiness because that’s the word with “best association” for most people. But sure – if we are to analyze deeper we can get to joy, delight, etc.
I like going deeper 🙂
Great post!! People can be in a the harshest of situations & yet find peace and be happy as long as they have a good state of mind ?You are welcome to link with my blog
Thanks Andale and will do. Just your Gravatar doesn’t link to your blog. So if you can please send me link manually.
I think the key to happiness is “not” comparing ourselves or our lives to others. Instead personally choosing to see the positive in everything, not focusing on the negative. When negative thoughts appear due to stress, and so on… we have the ability by listening to music, reading an uplifting book, focusing on our passion in life, exercising, etc. to TURN the negative into the positive. Also, if we have negative people in our lives, we need to distance ourselves from them. If we are around people who focus on being positive, they are goal oriented, they are helpful/humble, and so on… THAT it is inspiring/motivating. Happiness is like going to the gym, at first it takes effort to “choose” to be happy, but after a while it is just a “way of life.” Live our lives, do not compare ourselves to others, just pursue our OWN dreams, THAT is happiness too. Thanks for sharing. HERE’S TO HAPPINESS!
I have personally found comparing myself to others as a quite useful tool. Modeling someone else’s success is for example one of the easiest ways to succeed yourself.
Now, I quite agree with everything else you’ve said in your comment. And it’s likely you’ve meant “not comparing” as in “no point in looking at Buffet and being jealous of all the money he has”. In that sense – definitely. Instead, it’s much better to focus on what you can do for your own happiness and happiness of those around you.
It’s a use of words. I do not compare myself to others. Instead, I prefer to be “inspired” and “motivated” by certain people’s stories, journeys, successes, etc. I believe there is a difference. By being inspired by others, there is no jealousy or envy involved, instead there is positive energy that I can feel, which makes me more focused and determined to reach my own goals. It would be like having a mentor who helps motivate us.
Yeah – I on the other hand definitely enjoy “comparing”. Maybe it’s the tryhard in me ;). That’s the beauty of choice – to have option of doing what best fits you.
And by the way – you have pretty nice blog. That “Good Luck Jar” from this post is quite something: https://brilliantviewpoint.com/2017/06/26/do-you-believe-in-luck/
Exactly, we ALL have to find what motivates us. That’s the beauty of life.
GLAD you enjoyed my Good Luck Jar. I found it in Dublin. Go ahead, make a wish, and imagine yourself shaking the jar. FOR SURE, the Green Fairy Dust will start working for YOU too!
The year is not over yet, by December we can all be toasting to our successes! Wish you much LUCK!
Mm as I’ve mentioned in another post of yours, I totally agree with you on this one.
For the benefit of your readers, I’ll just put a quick short statement here to the gist of what I said:
“Happiness is not about the destination but the enjoyment of the journey”
That said, your posts actually reminded me of a theory video I’ve made on the “Secret to Happiness”. It’s on my YouTube Channel with the video link right below
In the video, I talked about why we feel the happy emotions in a more scientific approach. Feel free to check it out and let me know what you think 😉
Hell, if you’ve got more to add onto it after watching? Even better!!
Anywho, keep up the good work~
Very true. Happiness is a state of mind, and it’s something we can access whenever we need it, if we try. I’ve never felt that everyone else around me was happy, though – some people seem happy, and others seem miserable! I think your message here is so important for those who are miserable – or even those who aren’t as happy as they’d like – to learn.
Yes, defining trait of us humans is ability to learn. All life has ability to adapt… but on Earth only humans have evolved ability to do so consciously. So, we may as well use that ability.
I completely agree with your perspectives on happiness, it is inspiring! Happiness can only be felt inside out and one must take it upon himself to be happy by making frantic effort to be happy regardless of what his situations are. But many see the world differently just like six or nine depending on which direction you are viewing it from. It does really mean the other person is wrong but from his own point of view a six may actually be nine.
Happiness in my on opinion happiness is tied to currencies such as achievement, values, success, accomplishments, relationship, wisdom, knowledge, and every good thing you can think of and you get abundance of happiness when you feel you have any or most of these currencies to trade with the world or someone else for wealth, riches, love and happiness which make up for what people call true prosperity.
The truth is that many lack these currencies or could not harness them in order to productively bring out the best in them or perhaps there are no platforms to exchange there values for great success and they keep working hard day in day out without with little or no result to show for it because their efforts are not properly directed to the best approach of achieving great success in a very effective, productive and efficient way.
I love your opening statement: “Sometimes it seems as if everyone around us is so blessed and happy. ”
The divine wisdom reminds us, “I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” -Ecclesiastes 9:11
Thanks for stopping by my blog nad hitting like in two of my posts. It means a lot to me. 🙂
I enjoyed your post just as the others above, I think you made some great points and I really understand the message you’re trying to send. We are increasingly seeing more people succeed through hard work, positive mind set and passion; even those who did not begin their lives so easily.
Though, I do not completely agree with your idea that “everything is attainable”. There are definitely cases where people have moved from poverty into high wealth, but on a global scale I really don’t believe that these things are attainable for everyone. I do understand the message you are sending though, for those who are lucky enough to live in societies and our own world with computers, technology, education, jobs etc, yes, this approach is great and will really benefit those who want to live a “great” life and do great things. But does that also mean ignoring the surrounding problems in our world? The ones that go beyond the individual.
The focus of my blog is to talk about real issues, I’m studying sociology so it’s hard not to apply sociological thought to your post. I appreciate the message you’re trying to send and I do believe it works for a large amount of people but unfortunately it is not always as simple as working hard, for everyone
Great posts non the less. Just wanted to share my opinion 😉
I’ve liked your comment on Community Pool so much that I figured out a way to import it into my blog. Advantage of being a programmer I guess 😉
I understand “everything is attainable” disagreement. The biggest challenge of writing these posts is the gap between making piece “applicable” to wider audience while staying detailed enough for it to be “useful”. Before I started writing I thought a lot about this problem. I’ve looked at how other motivational writers deal with this and found that it’s either:
1. Writer is not popular enough to receive sound critique. Like all comments are in line: wow, you are great, keep going.
2. Writer starts with tailoring content and administering comments. I.e. – anyone who disagrees gets comment deleted. Or writer tries to change content over and over until each critique is satisfied.
3. Writer just disables comments. Problem solved.
Me personally – I want to have as many comments on this blog posts as possible. I want this to be place where people interact. And critiquing what I wrote is part of that… as long as 80% or better of my writing is good – I am doing good.
Now, I tried finding one comment in which I exactly said that “everything is NOT attainable”. I was talking about how if I wanted to run 100m faster than Usain Bolt, I OBVIOUSLY wouldn’t be able to do it. Logical, right?
But in this post I am more focused on – WHY would I want to run faster than Bolt? Is it sense of achievement? Prize money? Physical well being? All of those are achievable and I CAN use “running faster than Bolt” motivation even if I know that it’s a pipe dream. And, who knows, maybe I invent prosthetic limbs that do allow me to “run faster than Bolt”:
Closing point: think outside of box and find a way to get into state of happiness. Until next comment!
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Very true! Whenever I’m feeling a little bit down, I allow myself to be angry, sad, etc. and then go work on something that makes me happy, like my blog 😉
Very true. AS Dalia Lama says “Happiness is a journey not a destination.” I completely agree yet, I just wanted to point out that feelings can be stored on paper, by stories of course! We use these happy feelings, to write these kind of happy blog posts after all.
Great message and reminder! Everyone walking this earth at one point or another is touched by pain, sorrow, death, trauma, struggles, setbacks…. there is no secret “club” of those that have learned some magic formula to personal satisfaction, peace and happiness. It all depends on what one chooses to focus and dwell on. Thanks for sharing!